You Know Your Life Isn't Normal When...

Okay, this one is a little strange even for me. So two Saturdays ago (I know, little late but things have been really busy... and I suck), I'm chilling at the bar with my boy playing Rummy at about 3am. My favorite lady-of-the-night dropped in for a quick drink (and to coke her brains out, but I digress). When she returns from the bathroom after a particularly long coke-session, she decides then it is time to tell me why I shouldn't marry my fiance.

I think to myself, she's a 25-year-old hooker... what does she know about marriage? She then proceeded to tell me what my boy was up to the week before (there's a long morbid story that goes along with this, but frankly I don't care to tell it and it's not really appropriate for this loonymagnet blog... perhaps if I had a blog of "what not to do to your significant other" it would fit better). He was apparently comforting another lady rather closely... nothing happened mind you, but watching his face as she told me this certainly conveyed that this was information he didn't want me to know.

This is not the weird part.

The weird part comes about halfway through her re-telling of my fiance's exploits where she decides to spit-wash me. No, this is not something a hooker does for twenty bucks. No this is the spit-wash that we all had to endure as children. It's the one where your mother (or other woman of equal authority) licks her finger, and then proceeds to wipe a spot off your face with said wet finger. (and would you believe that no one has written an article in wikipedia about spit-washing?? I may have to write one just so I can link it here.)

So, dear reader, not only am I astonished by this, but I'm particularly certain I am now dirtier than when I started.

*sigh*

I can never say that life is dull.